I didn't do the Little Red Riding hood part because I saw the answers!:0 But I pretty much got the point!:)
This is the first bit I've written about this character. She kinda just popped up. I don't really know here or much about her yet.
Sailing on the Ocean... Sort of:
Asassia gripped the Dragon's back with her legs and spread her arms wide, feeling the salty, cool breeze flowing past her. The two of them were zipping through the water much faster than fast. The Dragon easily propelled herself with her wings, specially designed for swimming quickly in the water. Suddenly the Dragon forced herself up out of the water, into the air, then plunged beneath its surface. Asassia latched her arms around the Dragon's neck as they continued to dive down, frightening colorful fish. Bubbles surrounded them like a tickley blanket. She kicked her legs, trying to speed their descent as it were possible. The Dragon flipped and spun, enjoying the frolic time. Asassia did not know which of them savored it more. Her heart soared and if she could have laughed underwater, she would have. But now she was running out of air. She let go of the Dragon and motioned her to the surface. Asassia emerged and took a gulp of air. The Dragon was right beside her, and playfully sprayed water into her face. This time she could laugh, and did, releasing some of the bottled up joy inside her. She looked into the Dragon's bright green eyes and stroked her wet scales. It seemed as happy as she was. "You are beautiful!" Asassia told the Dragon. "And so smooth and agile in the water - like a sea goddess in the stories!" She rested her forehead on the Dragon's and smiled. "Calypso. It's the perfect name for you." Calypso licked her with a lizardlike tongue as if to agree.
Ooh! This reminds me of those wonderful Dragonriders of Pern books by Anne MacCaffrey. EVer read them? (You have to be careful because there are parts that are inappropriate), but the bond between dragon and rider is so enjoyable to read about.
ReplyDeleteYou did a nice job portraying the joy of A and her dragon. (Why is 'dragon' capitalized, BTW?).
I found one sentence that could have been changed to avoid those overused "ing verbs."
The two of them were zipping through the water much faster than fast.
Better: The two of them zipped through the water faster than fast.
I assume you just got a little lazy about paragraphs, but this scene really could have been broken into paragraphs to make it easier on the reader's eyes. I'm sure if you incorporate it into an actual story, you will do so.
I, too, love A! And Calypso is a great name. They seem like best friends by the time I finished reading the scene.
good job!
Asssaaasssiaaaaaaa!!!!!! :P
ReplyDeleteAnd I like Calypso. Good job. You don't need my help with names.