Thursday, April 17, 2008

Reach for the Stars! ~ Lesson 9

I got all the Boring Beginning answers right on the download!
Here's my lifeboat thing using two random names from my names chart...
"Come on!" Adrian hissed. Kalista crawled after him through the tangle of bushes and long grass. The blazing bright sun shone overhead, which normally would've made Kalista happy, but now it only complicated things. Adrian motioned for her to be get down. They both dropped low and Kalista looked up, seeing the silhouette of yet another terrorist patrolling the border. When he was gone, she glanced at her watch. Two minutes until the next guard came by. Adrian had already started crawling toward the shore. They had to get out of here. The plan was to swim the small channel of water to the eastern shore, and then run farther. They would probably be seen and shot of course, but better to die escaping than die in captivity. Adrian suddenly shoved her head into the dirt. Had it been two minutes already? The shadow of the guard passed over them. He was so close that Kalista was sure he could hear her heart pounding like a hammer on an anvil. But he did not slow his pace. The two continued to push aside the vines and grass. There was the little clearing that served as a beach. Adrian glanced at her - it was now or never. They both picked up branches, grabbed each other's hands, and ran toward the water. Kalista's feet flew over the dirty sand, nearly tripping several times over the tangled seaweed, rocks, or garbage that had washed up or been thrown there by the terrorists. They dragged the branches behind them, covering their tracks. The next patrol guard would see them soon. Suddenly her foot hit something hard and she did fall. Adrian pulled her up and tried to hurry her along, but Kalista looked down at what had tripped her - to see the side of a upturned boat covered in seaweed, trash, and sand. "No, Adrian look!" she whispered. "It's an old lifeboat! We can pass as a couple of fishermen in a boat!" There was no time to debate it. Adrian helped her push the boat to an upright position, then put his hand over her mouth - just in time. A fully dressed skeleton holding a small piece of paper had been under the boat. Kalista felt like throwing up. Adrian grabbed the note and motioned for her to push the lifeboat into the water. He kicked the skeleton into a seaweed tangle, so that nothing would grab the patrol's attention, and leaped into the boat. They used their track-covering branches for oars, praying they wouldn't be identified and shot.
Here's the other one that is actually the prologue of my story:
Eldarion, king of Gondor rode for his very life under a black sky. Men everywhere were seemingly in a trance, making their way slowly toward the dark castle of Minas Tirith. The king had tried to stop them, but they would not be detained or seemed to notice any of his warnings. But it was what was coming out of the city that worried him more. Orcs that were not tortured elves, but tortured men pursed him hotly at breakneck speed.
Eldarion was afraid.
Thunder rolled almost constantly as he reached the little town of Osgiliath. More men were walking out, transfixed toward the city, all at the same pace. Their eyes did not move from the city nor did they speak, despite the pleading of their hysterical wives and children who had no power to stop them. Indeed, no one did.
Lightning struck.
The town was in confusion. The king rode in, looking about wildly. No one seemed to notice him through the wailing of the women and the screaming because of the approaching orcs.
Wind Blew.
A old woman opened her door and saw him. "Great King!" "Come inside! We will hide you!" Eldarion lept off his horse and it fled in fear. The king ran into the dwelling and the woman locked the door, and proceeded to close all the curtains. Her husband stood near, his sword drawn. Their son clung to his father, an eight year old lad with wide, jet-black eyes. "I put you all in danger! The orcs want me!"
"Say nothing of it, Your Highness. We are in danger either way." The woman beckoned him to a secret door in the floorboards. Eldarion leaped in. He heard Orcs in the village. He heard grunts, shattering of glass, doors being smashed, and people screaming in terror. They were being slain. The King pushed the trapdoor open in anger and quickly climbed out. "My lord!" the woman loudly whispered. "No! You will be killed!"
"It is my life they want! Not those of my people!" he ran to the door. The young boy poked his head fearfully out from under the bed only to unintentionally haunt Eldarion with his deep, frightened eyes. Before the king could turn the doorknob, he heard the boy cry, "Father? Father! No!" and emerge from hiding to grab his cloak. The man was walking toward the black city, eyes staring straight ahead. The woman tried also to hinder him, but orcs were upon the house. The woman pushed her son into the trapdoor while the man walked out of the house. She ran to follow him. "No!" the King called, but it was too late. The orcs slew her. He gritted his teeth and prepared to charge into the pack of orcs, but he felt his foot being grasped. Two small but surprisingly strong arms jerked him into the hatch and locked the door.
Thunder rolled.
Comment me everybody!!!!

6 comments:

  1. It is so fun to read your writing, Meggy! The lifeboat scene has such a fantastic twist. A great beginning to an "escape" kind of novel--will you ever write it, I wonder? How did they get into that mess in the first place? Where will they go? What will happen next? All these questions ran through my mind as I read your beginning "hook" to the lifeboat assignment.

    OK, explain something to me, please: your prologue to the LOTR-look-alike story: This Eldarion--your creation? Or have I missed something along the way? I thought I knew all the characters in LOTR. I HOPE it's what I first thought, that you are writing a LOTR alternate-universe kind of story---Tolkein's characters with your own characters tossed in to make it your OWN story (not publishable, of course, but great Fan Fiction).

    I do that all the time with the original Star Trek. So have many others--Star Trek universe, my own "episodes."

    I think it is a great way to write what you love and as you do it, your writing gets better and better. Then, like me, you can someday write a story that IS publishable and your own creations.

    Keep it up! Write your heart! I love reading your offerings.

    -susan-

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  2. Anonymous4:12 PM

    Hey, Meggy,
    Love the fan-fiction...much awesomeness....
    What's up? Besides the white ceiling and babysitting, I mean....kk, going to go now...
    Nan

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  3. Anonymous4:39 PM

    Hmmmmm..... Letsee.... Oh! I'm coming to AR in 31 days! 1 month!!! How cool is that!!!!!!!!:D

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  4. Anonymous5:56 PM

    TOTALLY COOL!!!!!!!! We need to make your schedule soon. I'm almost always thinking about you coming and planning!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm soo exciiiiteeeeeed!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. I love you more Meg!!! I posted again just for you (and everyone else... ;o) ). It's an angry post, yay.
    ~Nicole

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  6. Anonymous5:10 PM

    Wow! I love the prelude to your story! It's so gripping, and heartbreaking too, with all the people enchanted. It was so sad when that one woman died: I feel so sad for that kid! Well, you definately have me hooked! I love your style of writing, it moves so quickly but yet you pick up the details too. It was really a blast to read! I try to write like that, but when I have a scene that really has a lot of action I want to mention all the details, so it moves rather slowly. *sigh*

    Thanks for visiting my blog (you were fast! Woa!), and I'm glad you liked the prelude to my story! I was so glad I got to meet you today. :) It was one of my highlights of the day. I look forward to reading more of your writing!

    Cherise (PoeticMaiden)

    I like the new template! :)

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